Turing 21

fullsizeoutput_53bOn Saturday I turn 21 and I’m oh so very excited (as always) but this also means that I am a fully fledged adult, which doesn’t really scare me because I’m in denial that when I turn 25 I will then be a fully fledged adult.

But then it hit me my parents were engaged and had a house by the time they were 21. I am very, very far off that. I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t have enough money for that.

I also found one of my old note/scrapbooks from when I was 10 and it asked a question “where do you see yourself in 10 years” (so I would have been 20) and 10 year old Mollie wrote “just got married”. According to 10 year old Mollie, I should have been married for a year.

However, I am very happy with my life right now and I have the rest of my life to ‘sort it out’, I might as well have fun while I can, I mean whats the rush?


Body Image 

Since January I have been on a diet. 

I didn’t really need to but I was unhappy with my body so decided to do something about it. I’ve lost 2 stone since then and have gotten down to my target weight – but I’m still not happy. 

Is this just life? Are we always going to be unhappy with what we’ve got? Has everyone got something they hate about themselves? 

If everybody does, why can’t we just accept us for what we are? I could be scrolling down instragram (or any social media) and see someone and wish that I looked like them. But what if they are thinking the same and wish that they were like someone else? 

Should we just be happy with what we’ve got? We are at war with that comes naturally to us. 

New York

This was my second time visiting New York and it was a lot better the second time around. I don’t know if it was because I went for longer or because I knew what to expect, I’m not quite sure.

The enormousness of New York still surprises and amazes me. Going for 7 days was so much better. It gave us so much more time to walk about and take it all in, instead of just rushing from point to point.

Our first full day we went and picked up our New York passes and went to the Empire State Building. You don’t realise how tall the buildings are until you are on top of the buildings and all the other buildings just look tiny.

On the Monday we went Downtown towards the one world trade centre and the 9/11 memorial. The difference between Downtown and Midtown, the massiveness of the buildings replaced by ‘normal’ sized buildings and the streets don’t feel so compact. The 9/11 memeorial was breathtaking beautiful and so peaceful. A fitting tribute for those that died.

The One World Trade Centre is beautifuly designed and the mirrored glass windows make it look really cool and give it a really nice effect. Very similar to the Empire State Building.

On the Tuesday we went back Downtown to go over to Brooklyn via the Brooklyn Bridge. The skyline of New York from the Brooklyn Bridge was amazing, getting to see all the buildings from a distance, looking so small. Brooklyn itself is a place I would probably never visit again. Walking round Brooklyn just make me feel very out of place. I think we spent about half an hour in there before we decided to come back. After that we went to the Rockeller Centre, which was my favourite view from all the observation decks. We got a lovely view of the Empire State Building and the One World Trade Centre in the background. It is also the best one to get a view of Central Park.

On the Wednesday we went to Central Park. It’s such a beautiful Park. We started off walking around the reseviour, which we got to see the beautiful skyline of the busy Midtown. We spent about two hours trying to find the friends fountin, which actually isn’t the friends fountin ( I’m gonna pretend it is anyway). Then we spent another load of time trying to find the Zoo. How lost we got just shows how bit the Park is. The Zoo was a lot better than I was expecting and it had penguins so I was happy. They had a some Sea Lions that were just doing tricks in the pool by themselves.

One thing I did notice was how taime the animals are. We had a squirrel come up to us and climb all over us just to get some one the nuts we were eating. It had no fear at all.

After Central Park we went to get something to eat and we just happens to bump into Ray Rameon. He just walked into this tiny pizza place and sat next to us just talking about pizza!

On Thursday it was Mitch’s birthday and we went to the U.S.S. Intrepid. Which was pretty cool, looking at the different planes and seeing how they all fit on the aircraft carrier and the living quarters for the army men on board. We then went on a water taxi to see the Statue of Liberty. Which was pretty cool, getting to see Manhatten from a distance.

On Friday, our last day, we did the high line walk. Which was where the old subways use to be. It was beautifully done, with really nice modern feel to it as well as keeping a bit of the history in it.

My second time back to New York and I loved it more than before and fell ever more in love with the beautiful city.


I don’t know if you know this but I have very low self confidence and it ruins my life.

Recently, events have arose that have made me worry about my worth to my boyfriend.

Now, a lot of people in my life leave. Not necessery partners but my friends, and even if they are still my friends, they always prefer someone else over me. My life is just been second option.

I don’t know what it is about me but no matter what it always leads to this situation.

This brings on to my boyfriend. The day I was expressing my worries about other girls and he argues that other girls will never be better than me and that they will never be better than me, to which I argue ‘but you don’t know that’, he argues back saying that ‘well are they any other boys better than me?’ to which I reply ‘no’, ‘case closed’ he says.

And I always find this hard to believe, I’ve never met anyone who would rather have me than someone else, what if he’s the same?

He always says he thinks exactly like me. But is that possible to be someone with the same intentions as everyone else.

But what if he’s the exception to the rule?

 Internal Battles

“Life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself” I say to myself daily.

My mind spends about 99.9% of the day in an internal battle with itself (and probably still does it in my sleep).

Me to Me: What if that really bad thing happens?

Me to Me: It won’t happen.

Me to Me: But what if it does?

Me to Me: Well you’ve got me there.

I can have an internal battle with myself about when to get my haircut.

It seems to be the only thing I’m good at…  but at the moment I can’t seem to get out of these wars, they are consuming my mind and the negative side always bloody wins. And I’m getting very fed up of it.

Normally I can think myself out of it with a nice cheesy positive thought but recently they just aren’t working.

Wasting Your Life

“You are always haunted by the idea that you are wasting your life.”

I’ve always hated the idea of wasting my life so I have all these ideas of what I could do to make it ‘meaningful’ and then I just end up doing nothing and having no motivation to do any of these.

Then again what defines ‘meaningful’? I have a good life, good family and boyfriend, I have the opportunity to go on adventures and holidays but yet I always seem to feel that there is more out there, somewhere.

Is it my job? Do I want a more fulfilling job, one that doesn’t feel like it is meaningless, is that what is making me feel that I am wasting my life?

Because I’m more than happy just lounging around with my fave, so is it more of a question of who you are doing stuff with instead of what you are doing?